Gossiping together with a good friend and judging other people on their mistakes gives us the sense of superiority that we need to cope with our own inadequacy. What we usually don’t want to admit is that what we say, feel or think is a direct reflection back to ourself.
Mirroring is the master-key to systematically dissolving personal blocks one at a time. This leads us to becoming a much gentler and more kind person to be around.
Let’s shine some light on how mirroring plays out in everyday-life and what we can learn from it. Quite literally this process is about converting trigger-energy, which feels heavy and negative, into light and expansive energy. Mirroring is a complex topic to explore. The following three examples give us a place to get started:
1. Mirroring in Interactions
A mirror only sees itself when it’s obscured, right? If a mirror is clean and well polished, it only reflects what stands in front of it. In our everyday interactions: are we seeing a direct reflection of what’s really in front of us or are we seeing some part of ourselves reflected back? I’d say that it’s the latter. Let’s have a look at some examples and possibilities for their mirrored-meanings:
1 | I say: »Put on some clothes, it’s cold outside!«
→ I mean: I feel cold and want to put on some clothes.
2 | I say: »Mind your own business!«
→ I mean: You hit on something that triggers me and I don’t want to expose it.
3 | I say: »C’mon please… don’t be so rude!«
→ I mean: I’m afraid to come across as rude so I call you out on that.
4 | I say: »You should definitely talk about it.«
→ I mean: I should talk about it and I’d like for you to go ahead and test the waters.
5 | I say: »You feel so cold and distanced today.«
→ I mean: I feel disconnected from you and my own emotions. I distance myself.
Exercise: Cultivate conscious conversations
Become more aware by listening to what you say. Once you identify something that could be a mirror, trace it back to its source. This will point you directly towards a personal block that lies inside of you (that which obscures the mirror). Finding these block and compassionately looking at them will naturally begin dissolving them.
2. Mirroring while observing
The Observation-Mirror is one step removed from immediate interaction with someone. Whenever we observe a scene, a conversation or just someone passing by, this wakes up something in our thoughts. Because no one is listening, we (as our identity) judge the living hell out of everything and everyone. Here are some thoughts and ideas for what might actually be mirrored:
1 | I think: »Look at that couple kissing in public… how awkward.«
→ I mean: I’m afraid to embrace or express my own sexuality.
2 | I think: »Why do these kids have to be that loud? They lack proper parenting.«
→ I mean: I’ve been conditioned to suppress my own inner child.
3 | I think: »How could it take so long? Apparently they don’t like to work here at all.«
→ I mean: I’m not ok with just being. I have to do something all the time.
4 | I think: »There she is… I expected her to dress up like that.«
→ I mean: I’m worried how others perceive me in public.
5 | I think: »Dirty train station… only fat people here… and the pigeons are disgusting.«
→ I mean: It’s hard to meet my own narrow definitions of what’s good and bad.
Exercise: Look for beauty everywhere
Drop all assumption. Drop all interpretations. Drop all labels. Now from neutral ground, look precisely for the beauty in things, for the talent in people, for the quality in a conversation. Exercise gratitude for what you perceive and for your own place in life. Consciously look for the best in everyone and everything and observe how life changes accordingly.
3. The Conditional-Mirror
Moving from the grand to the subtle – from our outer world to our inner world. We are now looking at the very moment when we wake up in the morning. What are the first thoughts that cross our minds? Is what we think really fresh everyday? When we look closely we’ll find that most of our thought-patterns are repetitions and derivations of the past playing back into the present moment. A few examples:
1 | I think: »How in the world can I keep up with my long todo-list today?«
→ I mean: I’ve been stressed out and today will be no different.
2 | I think: »I only have superficial conversations with superficial people.«
→ I mean: I don’t see my capability to create inspiring conversations.
3 | I think: »My life is just the same… day in day out. It’s like in Groundhog Day.«
→ I mean: I’m not aware of my power to be the change that I wish to experience.
4 | I think: »A day that’s grey like this one can’t be any good.«
→ I mean: I’m not aware that my attitude alone creates how I feel.
5 | I think: »No one called me lately. I bet it will be the exact same today.«
→ I mean: I prepare myself to endure my pain instead of calling someone myself.
Exercise: Hello world, I’m alive!
I made it! I woke up this morning. How great is that? 150.000 people don’t wake up every day. Thoughts about the past just recreate the past inside the present. Why not make a choice and live in the now? Choose how you want to start your day. Choose how you want to feel by surrounding yourself with symbols that empower your growth. Create a morning ritual that you love.
Look into the mirror with compassion and face what’s there. It’s you! This admission and exploration is your master-key to systematically dissolving your personal blocks one at a time.